COVID-19: Quick Tips and Tools to Help You and Your Family Thrive

We are creatures of habit, not creatures of change. There has been a lot of change over the last several weeks and it will likely last a bit longer. The good news is, there are evidenced based strategies we can implement to help ourselves and our family thrive and become more resilient during these challenging times. Below are some quick tips you may consider to help your family. I would love your input. If there are specific areas you need help, please do not hesitate to e-mail me. I will address your questions and provide resources where I can.

Tip #1: What’s Going Well: Do you know you can create and strengthen pathways of positivity in the brain? Positive emotions reduce reactivity to stress, improve emotional and physical health and make us more resilient. One way to do this is to focus on What’s going well. Here are ways to do this:
   *  if you are working remotely, start each virtual work meeting with the question, “What’s going well for each of you?”
   *  Each night at the dinner table (I highly encourage family dinners) have each person go around the table and share what went well in their day.If you live alone, call a friend and share what             went well in your day and ask them to do the same.
   *  If you lost your job, it is easy to focus just on what is going wrong. Addressing the new challenges you are facing is important. Intentionally focusing on what is going well despite your                       circumstances will help your mood and improve your ability to problem solve.

 Tip #2: Sleeping for Success: I can’t emphasis enough how important sleep is to successfully get through these challenging times. Lack of sleep is associated with: Irritability, depression, decrease in focus, attention and memory, illness and job burnout… just to mention a few. Quality sleep requires a regular sleep schedule. Many of us are staying up a bit later and sleeping in a bit longer during this time. That is okay as long as there are not drastic changes to your sleep pattern, and you keep your schedule pretty consistent. The National Sleep Foundation recommends the following number of hours of sleep we need:
   *   In Children 6-13 years old- 9-11 hours of sleep
   *   Children 14-17 years old- 8-10 hours of sleep
   *   Adults- 7-9 hours of sleep

Tip #3: Maintain Some Structure: We are all different. Some people prefer more structure than others. Whether you are a list maker or someone who prefers more flexibility, most of us need some structure, especially your children. Their regular routine is now gone. It is important for all of us to have something to get up for each day. Help your children come up with a structure for this new normal. You know your children. Some will need more structure, and some will thrive better if the schedule is held loosely. Depending on the age of your children, involve them in the process. Items to consider in the schedule:
  *  Time for remote learning and studying. This is best if broken into small chunks of time throughout the day
  *  Breaks from schoolwork to play/have downtime
  *  Time to connect virtually with friends
  *  Exercise (go for walk, ride a bike). Get them out and moving if possible
  *  Family time
  *  An act of kindness
  *  Time frame to wake and go to bed. This does not have to be rigid, but it is important to keep a fairly regular sleep schedule

Tip #4: Praising Effort: Praise your children for the effort they put into a task rather than their ability to accomplish the task. Praising children for their effort helps them develop a Growth Mindset. Based on the research by Dr. Carol Dweck, we know that people who have a Growth Mindset demonstrate: * A greater desire to learn * Embrace challenges *Persist in an effort to master new material even when faced with adversity *Learn from mistakes *Learn from constructive criticism * Are overall more resilient. Ways to help your children develop a growth mindset:
   *  Teach children their brain is like a muscle. In order for their brain to get stronger and smarter, it is important to challenge their brain with tasks that are increasingly more difficult.
   *  Praising Effort: “I know it is more challenging right now having to learn independently. I admire how hard you have been working. You have come up with a good plan to get your work           done.”
   *  Ask questions at the end of the day: “What did you learn today?” “What did you find difficult in your day? What did you learn from it?”

 Tip #5: Time to Play: This is a great time to find imaginative and creative ways to play as a family. The silver lining in the “stay at home order” is it provides the opportunity to spend quality time together. We know that play increases positivity, boosts mood and helps us be resilient. Below are just a few ideas. Use your imagination and be creative:
   *  Cook and/or bake together. Experiment with new recipes
   *  Play games
   *  Do a puzzle
   *  Chalk art on your driveway, sidewalk or backyard patio
   *  Play music together and share with each other what you like and why

Tip #6: Just Get Moving: Exercise is a natural mood booster. It also improves memory. I tell students to follow study time with a bit of exercise. It helps the brain store and retain the information learned. If you can get outdoors, it has shown to have an even bigger benefit on mood and energy levels. As little as 5 minutes outdoors is enough to boost mood. If you can’t get outdoors, that is okay. In door activity can have an impact as well. Here are some ways you can get some exercise in your day:
  *  Go for walks
  *  Ride a bike
  *  Build your own obstacle course with items you have at home (My nephew did this with his family and they had a blast!)
  *  Do a virtual class. Many exercise establishments are offering virtual classes. Many are free

 Tip #7: Monitor Use of Social Media and Gaming: Young people rely heavily on social media to stay connected. Gaming has also become a popular way to spend time with friends. It is important to recognize this as a vehicle in which your children connect. However, it is important for parents to monitor it. The research is clear. When social media and gaming are utilized as the main source of connecting with peers, depression, anxiety, violence and suicide rates increase at an alarming rate. Here are some ways you can monitor this in your home:
  *  Encourage your children to connect with friends virtually on a daily basis. Texting is not the same as connecting virtually
  *  Monitor how much time they are spending communicating through social media and/or gaming
  *  “Spot Check” what your children are posting and viewing to keep them safe
  *  Encourage non-violent games. There is a huge negative impact on the brain when youth play violent games.

Tip #8: A little News Goes a Long Way: Stay informed regarding COVID-19 to keep yourself and your family safe. However, there is a time to turn it off. It is probably best to not have the news on while your children are present as this can increase their anxiety. If you find yourself becoming overwhelmed by the news, it is time to turn it off and switch to one of the other well-being tips to help you thrive. Remember, children are smart. They can read your emotion and if you are anxious, they will likely pick that up and feel unsafe.

Tip #9: Focus on What is in Your Control: Right now, there is a lot we don’t have control over. When you focus on what is in your control, your mood will be more positive, you will find creative solutions to real problems, you will become more resilient and you will have a positive impact on your family. Here are some ways to focus on what is in your control and help your family in the process:
  *  If you are working remotely for the first time, what can you accomplish in this new setting?
  *  If you have lost your job, what steps can you take during this time to seek new opportunities either now or when COVID-19 lifts?
  *  If you suddenly find yourself with more time on your hands, what are positive ways to fill your time either alone or with your family?
  *  What can you do to help others?
  *  Help your children look at the challenges they are facing and teach them how to come up with solutions within their control

Tip #10: Acts of Kindness: The single biggest way to boost your mood is a random act of kindness. Now is a time when Americans are coming together to help one another. We can perform acts of kindness within our family, our neighborhood or on a larger scale. It is not the size of the act; it is simply doing for others. It gives us a sense of purpose. Where can you or your family show kindness to others:
   *  Is there a need within your immediate family? Is there a task your children can do for you as you work from home that would benefit you or your family?
   *  Is there a task you can do for your family to benefit them?
   *  Is there a neighbor in need?
   *  Is there a friend or family member who is celebrating a birthday or some other accomplishment? How can you celebrate them from a distance?

Tip #11: Maintain Social Connection: Although we are needing to socially distance ourselves from others during this time, we can still socially connect. In order to thrive, we must maintain positive social connection. It is the greatest contributor to our well-being! Positive social relationships has been shown to increase not only our happiness but also make us wiser and more resilient. Here are some creative ways to socially connect:
  *  Family Meals
  *  Virtually chat with a friend and/or family member at least once a day
  *  Make sure your children are spending time virtually chatting with friends and not just texting
  *  Set up “virtual outings” with a group of friends and share a meal together
  *  “Love the one’s you’re with”- Spend time in conversation and play with those you are quarantined with.

Tip #12: Remember What Works When Normalcy Returns: Adversity provides opportunity for growth. Despite the challenges we are all facing, we also have the opportunity to have greater connection (despite social distancing) and become more resilient. Keep track of what you are learning during this season and keep it going to create positive habits that will help you and your family to thrive in the future!
  *  What have you learned about yourself and/or family members during this time?
  *  What personal or family habits do you want to maintain when this is all over? i.e. family meals, game night, family bike rides…
  *  Have a conversation with your family and write down what you all learned and what you want to take forward with you once COVID-19 is over